the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
