Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
