I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
