Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
