In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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