I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
