ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
