haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
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just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
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Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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