forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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