yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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