You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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