i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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