Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
