Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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