i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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