That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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