last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
