So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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