Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize