if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
