OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
