he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize