My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
party gras won. party gras always wins.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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