Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Dick very happy bro
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
