Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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