i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
