Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
