fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
