my vag is so smooth its legendary
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
