Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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