Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize