what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We left an ass print on the piano.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
