Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
