This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
