why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
