kristin has been a bad kristin
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
