How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
