are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
