I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
