Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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