Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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