I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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