he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize