Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize