You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize