dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
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but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
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I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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