Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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