your thong is hanging out like whoa
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
