I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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