you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
