love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
