He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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