Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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