Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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