omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
