The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
