I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
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