Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
