should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
