Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
