someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
