How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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