I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
