You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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