16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
